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Sergey Zagraevsky


My XX century


Chapter 1. “Soviet burgers”

Chapter 2. Vorkuta

Chapter 3. Sixties

Chapter 4: “Stagnation”

Chapter 5. Psychoanalysis

Chapter 6. Lenin, Party, Komsomol

Chapter 7. “Scientific career”

Chapter 8. Euphoria of epochs changing

Chapter 9. Arkady

Chapter 10. Commerce

Chapter 11. The loss of the bank

Chapter 12. Christianity




Published in Russian: Çàãðàåâñêèé Ñ.Â. Ìîé ÕÕ âåê. Ì.: Àëåâ-Â, 2001. ISBN 5-94025-009-2



Chapter 7. “Scientific career”



The following text was translated from the Russian original by the computer program

and has not yet been edited.

So it can be used only for general introduction.




We are called long-older

And not pay tribute to childishness

And for the fairy treasure island

We do not seek to a distant horizon.

Neither in the desert, or to the pole of cold,

Not on a boat - a sort of mother!

But the silence - gold,

We certainly prospectors.


Keep silent - you get to the rich!

Keep silent, keep silent, keep silent!


And believing neither heart nor mind,

For reliability, hiding his eyes,

How many times we have nothing differently

But not “against”, of course, but “for”!

Where now the shouts and pechalniy?

Otshumeli and vanished youth!

A taciturn went into heads,

Because silence is gold!


Keep silent - you get to the liquor!

Keep silent, keep silent, keep silent!


And now, when we became the first

We were speeches Mayat.

But under all the verbal pearls

Emerges - spot - dumbness!

Let others cry of despair,

Hurt, pain, hunger,

We know-the profitable silence,

Because silence is gold!


Here is just getting into the rich,

Here is just getting into liquor,

Here is just getting in the executors:

Keep silent, keep silent, keep silent!


                                                        Alexander Galich

                                                        “Prospecting valsok”




Komsomol work immediately after admission to the Department, I completely stopped. However, I have always considered the Komsomol as a “necessary evil” is on the way to the Department, so I have no regrets about leaving the Komsomol Committee, and any “ideological” positions no longer held. Still, the Department is the Department, although in Applied mathematics MADI was quite specific.

Most of the teachers were so-called “black colonels”. They were called so gloomy just because were taught until his resignation in “artillery” (i.e. missile) Academy of a name, it seems, Dzerzhinsky. One of them, Professor principles, upon his retirement, he settled back in the early seventies in MADI the head of the newly created Department of Applied mathematics (at the Academy he was the calculation of trajectories of missiles and probability defeats the purpose) and slowly dragged myself to the chair of not less than fifteen friends-colonels from the Academy as their retirement.

It's funny that these people, going down and taking the role of “civilian” teachers considered it his duty to be not that polite and courteous, and hypertrophied form. I never would have said no to accurate, polished gentlemen aged fifty five and older that are former “polisi”. Besides, none of them never appeared at the Department in uniform, and when eighty-year-old Colonel-associate Professor Zavadsky on the occasion of Victory put all of the order, other veterans quietly zastudil that, they say, it is improper to walk iconostasis, we all wear only the “bar”...

The fact was funnier to watch these pictures aristokratoobraznyh gentlemen at the stand of “war Veterans” - they were brilliant uniforms and with all orders, which, indeed, was available for incredibly much. Any increases in wages and pensions for the awards were supposed not, but the Soviet colonels it could not disturb the pension they had a colossal, or 250, or 300 rubles, not excluding the possibility to pursue civil work and receive any salary. In the end, the Colonel professors published under a thousand roubles a month.

In short, most of the staff of the Department of Applied mathematics was corporately junction, old, rich and spit on all and everything. In science they are no heights is not reached, but the lectures were normal, no one envied and not interfere with the young about their business. The atmosphere at the Department was relatively calm, because of serious intrigue between the Colonel was not (military discipline), and around.

To me they were warm and paternally - I'm your anti-Soviet language tried to them not to disband, even though they were talking quite frankly. But what is allowed to Jupiter is not allowed to the bull, and Woe to the calf, which is not understood. And it was easy to understand, because below my post at the Department there was no one, except for student technicians.

The thing is that I was not full-time engineer, and so-called “research sector”, that is not receiving a salary from the budget of the Institute, and with economic agreements”.

Meant, first, that in case of failure to conclude the Department of economic agreements, “seems like I've been unemployed and be transferred to another Department or even dismissal. However, such precedents in MADI was not. And secondly, full, staff members had the right to a job and got a part-time on “economic agreements, as well as my entire salary received from the “economic agreements, then right on half-time had not.

The Soviet system of remuneration of labor was hard and regulated in detail. For example, until I was born in November 1986 son, I paid anecdotal tax on childlessness, or, pardon me, “eggs”, as it was called in the people, for it payers were exclusively male aged 18 to 60 years. If I am not mistaken, the tax was 6% of salary. Who is “childless” did not want to pay, had to submit to the accounting Department of a certificate that he is not all right with potency or fertility. Laughter!

In the end, I got a dirty 120 rubles, and “clean” (after birth) - 96. And there was no hope for change in the state - of laboratories, giving staff positions at the Department of Applied mathematics, no.

And still such work with the free graphics was much better than sitting in the mailbox for a much higher salary. Besides, it was quite real, though not close, hope for a teaching job, but for this it was necessary to defend the thesis - the Department was still mathematical, and without graduate thesis technical University there was nothing light.

However, I was quite young - twenty-two years, following the age of the Department was older than ten years, the money I've always cared enough, so do not complexes and took his degree.

Well, “began” is a strong word. Rather, “began to collect material.”

The Soviet system of academic degrees Oh how discouraged upstarts! No, you two years work in the Department, then do the postgraduate study, four years pozostawi the appearance of intense scientific work, and then when you graduate finishes, you, the scientific Council will include in the plan of Ph.D. theses and you will protect her with almost absolute guarantee. And if you try this “plan” to engage without graduate programs, so-called “competitor”that'll be it through the same a few years, but without any guarantee of protection.

There were, of course, exceptions, but they became a “thieves”, or major nomenclature chiefs type of secretaries of district committees or Directors of companies wishing to add to his titles and more degree. Is not buying candidate or doctoral) degree of the modern “new Russians”? And in Soviet times for the “bosses” wrote the thesis of Professor, and those, in turn, provide the Department “economic agreements, preferential vouchers, extraordinary cars and other scarce social benefits...

However, in the “full-time, three-year graduate could do and immediately after graduation, but it is not considered work at the Department, there was no guarantee of future “abandonment” in the Institute.

To get into the mailbox, only to have a candidate of science (with a Supplement to the salary of an average of 50 roubles)? No, I prefer to lose two years, if it can be called a loss - work at the Department gave me invaluable life practice.





Think, still need to be better explained what “the contract” - the concept is gone, along with the financial and economic system of the USSR, and in 1986-1988 my work was devoted to him. Despite the enigmatic prefix “households”, this was the most common contract for the provision of one enterprise to another of certain services, or more precisely - the creation (transfer) of scientific-technical products”. I still stands in front of the eyes of this form of agreement, printed on offset duplicator opposing green paper and the wording, you see, too, remember.

The Department developed for enterprises (ministries, “main Directorate” etc.) any scientific products, and the Institute received from enterprises for it, and as far as I remember, he gave to the Department of ten percent in the form of wages Fund, from which the performers of the agreement were paid the same part-time. But no more than ten percent and not more part-time for everyone! Probably, now such a wage system has only somewhere in North Korea, if they never abolished money...

Specifically, in our Department had a contract with Glavmosavtotransom. The latter is subordinated to all of Moscow avtokombinaty (except buses and other public transport), and it is directed targeted public funding of scientific-technical programs in the trucking industry.

Glavmosavtotransa the money distributed to many scientific institutions, his superiors decided to whom and how much to give, and from the Department of Applied mathematics, MADI “beat out” these assets and concluded “the contract” with Glavmosavtotransom none other than my supervisor Yefremov.

Strangely enough, no special struggle between the teachers of the Department to be executors of this agreement (the development of systems optimization Supervisory control motor). All the work was divided by the iron hand of Professor Ephraim according to those people who were really capable of anything “perform”.

I have Ephraim was once something of a helper for all paper-based business, and they were incredible amount. And the contract and the schedule, and technical task and the staff schedule were to pass and in the Institute, and in Glavmosavtotransa not less than ten approvals of the authorities of the type of planning and financial control Department of standardization, Metrology and other things like that. Thank God, at least in the Committee would not have to agree (joke).

And around these instances, bow, if necessary, to correct something and get a visa, " used to do that myself Efremov, and then I began to do.





My supervisor, Professor Alexander Efremov, was only one of the “black colonels”, which is something understood in practical science, namely the optimization of dispatcher control of motor systems. When he missile retrained in representatives of " don't know, but he managed in the late seventies, even to develop so-called “model-heuristic optimization methods, simplicity of calculation, is achieved at the expense of accuracy.

Cargo transportation is not a flight of a ballistic missile in new York, in particular accuracy is not necessary, but thanks to this method it was possible to count on the then dolinjka computer, where and to whom to send the truck, so that the least number of them to carry a maximum load.

But the mathematical subtleties in this case does not matter. Important the unique personality of Ephraim.

It would seem that the “big man” - Professor, Colonel, zamzavkafedroy... But, for example, the “big man” for the holidays rang and my mother (!), and my grandmother (!), and congratulated - he never in my life seen, just once called my home, took off the receiver grandmother, he with her about something talked and then felt obliged to congratulate her on holidays. The same happened with my mother.

And as he was negotiating with the producers! Bowing his head, threw flattery and compliments, showed a complete lack of ambition, but after a visit to the boss of glavmosavtotransa or avtokombinaty he always passed several more rooms and coped the clerks as health, how, etc. Not surprisingly, all from the Professor “dragged”, and finally issues were solved.

For all that, he called was to blame is difficult - it and heads of Department Kodolov holding power is absolutely an iron hand. There was one characteristic episode, when the Professor Martynov tried to put an end to their absolute power and to convince the administration to send a couple of very old (eighty), assistant professors of the colonels retired. Principles and Efremov immediately defended “their” because in their place came to be young and unknown, who would vote for the next elections of heads of Department.

Moreover, the “black colonels” unfortunate Martynov similar demarche not forgive and at the next “competition” literally kicked him to the chair. He got one of them and said that, in his humble opinion, Professor Martynov can no longer work at the Department (formal occasion't remember). All colonels, one is immediately poured Martynov mud and voted “against”, and their teachers of the chair was an overwhelming majority.

There were in fact such “contests”that every teacher should have been held every five years! However, in high schools and now there is an effective means of dealing with unwanted...

But more striking was fantastic and completely genuine kindness of Ephraim in the attitude to people. How many times he told me very frankly said that “tender calf two females sucks”, and he seems to have believed in this so sincerely that I believed.

It is not surprising that in the end, I go all out climbed to help Ephraim, which in effect seventy years of age has already been extremely difficult to carry through instances mountains of paperwork, as well as to comprehend the new languages and new types of the computer, which in 1987, began to appear at the enterprises of glavmosavtotransa. And so it happened that, except for a pile of paper work, I was responsible executor of one of the two “themes” under contract with Glavmosavtotransom. And not just responsible, but only one.

On the one hand, Efremov, let me go in the first month of work in the “free floating” as the developer of a large package of optimization software for Mostransekspeditsii in danger. On the other hand, he alternatives is still not there - even two teachers, Igor We Vladimir Kulyabko, able to write computer programs, were busy on the theme “economic agreements for development of automated dispatcher control traffic of the First trucking company, and there's task was even more difficult.

He Efremov could only help me advice and providing all kinds of literature on the optimization techniques. And on the First trucking company, and in “my” Mostransekspeditsii just put new, relatively modern computers “SEE”, and Efremov could work only with monsters of the late sixties “EU-1033”standing in our Institute and to write programs in the language “Fortran”, which even at that time, in late 1986, was considered obsolete.





“My” mostransekspeditsiya... It was my first independent work. Twenty-two boy fresh “young specialist”, any practical knowledge and skills, of course, was not burdened. And I had to...

In order to understand what I had to, we must briefly explain what mostransekspeditsiya.

The Soviet power was centralized loved - so it was easier to control production. Moscow enterprises, which had no own railway lines, at desire somewhere to send their products by rail had to go to Mostransexpeditsiya that included them in the transportation plan, ordered on avtokombinatah cars (drop off cargo to Railways) and had planned a place in the wagons for this cargo.

I guess nobody companies did not forbid them to order cars and trucks, but some prices were always public, the same, so why try to be something to gain if there Mostransekspeditsiya? Well, the company paid her some additional percentage of the cost of transport, and who, when the Soviet authorities considered these percentages? Of course, all research projects were calculated unimaginable annual economic effect from cost reduction, but in practice is still unclear where the money spent.

So on the day of departure desired commodity composition of goods vehicles taken away and taken to the railway station. Several thousand enterprises, some tens (or even hundreds) of cars daily, a huge range of items packaged cargoes, from valenkov to bearings - such was the dimension of optimization problems I had to solve on a computer “SM-1420”at that time , quite but by today's standards comparable with...

Oh now, such a computer with which you can compare this structure, which occupied half of the great hall, but in performance inferior even to the first personal computers. And the programming language “Dias”, which worked this computer was developed in the U.S. to account for the sick in hospitals, have been focused on building a hierarchical database (building-floor-office-chamber-bed) and poorly suited for solving transport optimization problems of large dimension.

In parallel worked with me much more qualified in terms of programming staff Computing Center (CC) Mostransekspeditsii, which decided time consuming, but algorithmically primitive tasks accounting of all transported cargo and print an unimaginable number of statements, statements in Soviet times, was of great importance, forms were hundreds, where modern accounting balances!

And I, boy, sang “aerobatics” - optimized transportation, which then all these adult uncles and aunts were taken into account. Moreover, they believed that I know how to do it to me, researcher MADI know something “calamity”, but that's “Dias” I don't know yet, but certainly in other languages programming languages perfectly...

Actually, I knew a little “Fortran” and little “PL/I” (working for the old “mainframe” in MADI). It is a little. But to throw dust in the eyes and inflate his cheeks,” I knew even then - there use to me “school” of Committee of Komsomol.

Soon after Gorbachev began “self-financing”. Glavmosavtotransa in 1987-88 stopped himself into “the economic agreements” and gave it the right to own enterprises, which are a little money, but believed. And immediately the question arose: and do we need to road transport enterprises optimize routes traffic on a computer? Of inertia then it answered “Yes”.

And strangely enough, although my optimization problem in the industrial mode still does not work (I was nodding on CC that they will not provide the necessary input data, and they apologized for the delay and felt guilty), Mostransekspeditsiya concluded with us the contract on continuation of development, and moreover, it was proposed to extend our development of container transport.

Here, of course, worked fantastic diplomacy Efremova (on all negotiations with the leadership Mostransekspeditsii it just came and showed all their “brand” quality), but I for 1987 managed to master the computer “SM-1420” with the programming language “Diam” and to write a program that, at the experimental data in the form of ten enterprises and a couple of cars were given a transportation plan.

To “industrial mode of the program” was very far because the actual transportation impose many restrictions the type where and what a load of the machine which can carry, and which is not, and these constraints, developer programs is always the most long and laborious work. And then, will there be enough computer memory “CM-1420” and several hours of computer time to count plan with many hundreds of options - that no one knew, and to learn to be entered in the computer all the data on suppliers, avtokombinaty, vehicles and cargoes.

Data required EC Mostransekspeditsii are not provided (in all points of reception of orders had to be put terminals), I, by and large, there was nothing to do, and so I “suffered highs” all in 1988.





But in my business life came Irina Artyanova. I emphasize - in the business, because for many years of close and trustful dialogue we have with it is no intimate relationship did not work out. However, probably, just because of this our business communication and has been so productive, without any female hysterics and troubles...

Was she married to a fairly high-ranking official from the state planning Commission, the material is quite ensured, lived in a luxurious (for those times) apartment in Krylatskoe, in 1987 he finished postgraduate study in MADI (I think, at the Department of Economics), but to write a thesis for the birth of a child is not managed and distributed at the Department of Applied mathematics, Junior researcher of the same research sector.

I, by the way, by the time completely liberated from all Efremova paper work, after this became the “person responsible for the” total economic agreements, and under this “test” a position of research assistant with a salary much as 150 rubles. Of course, “dirty”, that is without taxes...

In artyanovoy were the same 150, then we have it became a tradition to new positions and new salaries to get together, so that no one envied. Have we at 170 and 190, and, in my opinion, at the end of the “Cathedral” of life, even “test” to itself to 300, but it was already in the early nineties, and inflation has turned the money into nothing.

We were with her and “Junior”and “NS” (researchers), and “senior” (senior researcher). Last post we were also in the early nineties, when it is, unfortunately, no one was necessary.

The same, incidentally, happened to my thesis when I defended it, she is already very few people were needed. Irina's thesis and defended she was on the economy, and the material during those turbulent years immediately out of date.

And in early 1988, the chief Mostransekspeditsii, delighted my tiny computer printout on the transport of packaged goods with the routes of two vehicles, have issued an order to optimize more and container, and I “to strengthen” Efremov sent Artenova.

Programming and research it, frankly, interested in little, but she was smart, practical, perfectly able to communicate with people and have a good look. Older than me, she was about five or six, so that her experience in many cases helped me cool.

And so it happened that during 1988 on the Department of Applied mathematics, MADI, where the majority of employees traditionally spat on the ceiling, in the research “diocese” of Professor Ephraim formed a good team, capable to perform certain practical tasks:

- he Efremov (communication, influence and a strong scientific base);

- I (weak General mathematical framework, but the ability to program and write a formal paper);

- Artyanova (the ability of paper “punch” and to make useful contacts)

- two teachers of the Department worked on a contract basis at the First trucking company, namely to above We Kulyabko (cultural and gentlemen, excellent programmers, scientific savvy, but organically't stand writing formal papers).

Ephraim was about seventy, I'm twenty-four, artyanovoy under thirty, and Mesotocin and Kulyabko about forty. I don't waste so much detail describing this team - in this part, I had to work the next few years.





In 1987-88 all violent work on a contract basis” for me is not meant no real increase to the salary, and the country has already taken place is quiet, creeping inflation, and 150 rubles a month “dirty” life has become difficult even with my modest needs.

On my “wealth” in these years, says, for instance, the fact that I never bought a single ticket “for a whole month, because it was worth six rubles, and once such expenses, I can afford could not. Therefore, I first of each month bought a ticket for ten days for $ 2, and then the fifth received a salary and bought “common” for the remainder of the decade even for 4 rubles.

There was still, however, my mother's old “Moskvich-408” 1973 release, and I'm on it sometimes “bomb”, i.e. nights moonlighting as a taxi driver.

School of life, of course, this was a - had to carry, and gangsters and drunks and prostitutes, and “blue”, and blacks and Caucasians. And the pay was too great - particularly “productive” the night from Saturday to Sunday I “brought” to 80 or even 100 rubles, which was quite comparable to my monthly earnings of Junior researcher.

But Moskvich was still too old, parts and service were incredibly difficult problem, I then still in cars was little understood, and the car was still strange - my mother's (property we have always been separate, and our apartment in those days the father even called “communal”).

In fairness, I will say that I was offered to buy “Moskvich” at a reduced price in installments, but I didn't go too in poor condition was machine, and I'm still not mentally Mature enough to become a full-fledged Soviet “motorist” with all its problems.

Remember - even antifreeze was impossible to get in the winter every night poured water from the radiator, and in the morning poured boiling water! However, new spark plugs, too, was impossible to get, so the machine in winter still would not start until the radiator is not poured hot water was not warm up the engine...

So the country and lived.





Who is longing for the Soviet power?

Maybe someone misses queues for meat, butter, confectionery, alcohol and all the rest? People stood for hours, leaving long, recorded, and in order not to forget your room and have the opportunity to present his associates, wrote his ink on hand!

Maybe someone misses shopping “birch”? Indeed, diplomats, sailors and other ' external ' masters salary issued “the cheque foreign trade,” and could “trade” in the network of closed shops, where a sea of imported goods. But the trouble is - a “mere mortals” these checks was not. Inside the “Birches” protection allowed only upon presentation of receipts, and Windows, of course, was not transparent, so people are not looking to “capitalism”. In Soviet times there was such a joke: Chuckcha has arrived at the “Kalinka” and asked for political asylum.

Enterprises, however, were sometimes so-called “orders” - a mysterious order for the factory, the office or the Institute was allocated a certain amount of clothes, shoes or delicatessen products such as caviar, and the management then it is distributed by Department (myself, of course, doesn't hurt). And in the departments draw lots, who gets what, for “sweet cakes are not enough for everyone.” And it's not free - all it cost quite “normal”in any case, I, Junior researcher, there was little he could afford, even if precipitated lot.

And after sales considerable part of the staff of the Institute went to the same clothes and shoes. Yes there Institute - remember half of the women went to Moscow in white boots with fur. Apparently, the Soviet state to profitably sell the oil, and enough not only for construction of submarines and the next ship canadian wheat, but also a large quantity of boots.

One time (I think in the Olympics, and after a little) in shops were imported jeans on inaccessible price of 100 roubles, and in the stalls was available for a good imported cigarettes on the ruble fifty (also very expensive), but by the beginning of perestroika and they disappeared.

Maybe someone misses the crowds of people dressed in wretched costumes factory “Bolshevik”in those same boots or Chinese jackets (also once brought to Moscow a huge party)?

Maybe on the dullness in the streets, the absence of advertising, though often irritating, but still create an elated?

Maybe coupons for books? Remember, a certain number of pounds of waste paper were given coupons to purchase the right svezhevyhodyaschih editions, usually at stuff like “the Odyssey of captain blood”, in the best case, “the Three Musketeers”?

In fact, however, waste paper, few rented, because these coupons were sold under the counter” in bookstores. But in the end, the books were really good “market” prices, only with a great risk of being an accomplice of the criminal offences “speculation”.

My friend, student of law Department in 1999, he read in a textbook example of the Soviet era, which was seen getting “storekeeper” bribes for sale five motorcycles two people. Girl-lawyer, had caught the Soviets in the “pioneer” of age, could not understand what “the storekeeper” give a bribe?

You, by the way, okay?

And as the Soviet people in these years were fed - another song. Ulcer disease was gen. It is, of course, from nerves (like all disease), but primarily from poor and irregular power supply. There was nothing and nowhere, but that was, vitamins do not contain.

And for now, being able to eat vegetables and fruits all year round in almost any quantity and variety, we don't even remember the Soviet folk tradition to make a wish on the first use of the various fruit-vegetables this year!

Desires to guess, usually in July-August, when the fruit-vegetables appeared. Then last rapidly disappearing (in November-December), and until next July, the vast majority of people fed cereals, potatoes, pasta, sometimes meat from the ribs and fish such as hake (even cod and herring considered a delicacy). Fair to say that the markets were all year round, but expensive and few people available.

Personally, I only saved a certain discipline - I knew exactly what to eat during the day should be at any cost, and amounted to schedule my movements so as to have lunch or MADI, or in Mostransekspeditsii or any avtokombinate. Even in the terrible, sorry, “rygalovke with undying and truly nauseating smell of cabbage soup.

Note that in the table are often sold cups of sour cream, and all male members of staff regularly ate sour cream (or more correctly - pill?), because it was considered that it has a positive effect on potency. However, probably, on potency has a positive effect any high-calorie product, but there were few such products and in the Soviet industrial canteens and shops...

In the evening grandmother, Lydia V. I usually fed stew with buckwheat porridge, but if I slept at home. And since I was living more in Abramtsevo with the woman (in the fall of 1987 I went with my wife and I had a new hobby), and me, and beloved woman for Breakfast and dinner had fried pies that we bought at the Yaroslavl station for 10 kopecks. Sometimes, however, we bought Zagorsk eggs and cooked them. And sometimes you could buy a chicken, but it is especially when the best of circumstances, it was necessary for the existence of chicken in the store, and in the pocket money.

And why I stayed at the cottage in winter - so “on mladosti years” was nowhere to lead more privacy! My mother suffered in his apartment “outsiders” reluctantly and only during the day but not at night, my grandmother, too, and I was kind of hurt them to “stretch”. And so it happened that winter I had a holiday season, and in summer, when my mother and grandmother moved to the cottage, I “worked” flat grandmother.

Oh, how I felt cold in the winter in a poorly insulated summer house! To minus ten heaters somehow coped (their number was limited to overloading of the old wiring), but in this cold it was impossible, and had to abandon his personal life and sleep at home.

However, my home is always waiting, and rejoiced when I used to sleep there. Yes, and winter 1987-89 years were warm, “orphan”.





Money lacked, and had to “spin”.

I work part teacher adjunct Professor in the school. The pay was there a little, “half time”, that is, within fifty roubles a month, because I had no teaching experience.

But, strangely enough, I liked it - still in me there is a tendency to teaching. If, for example, Professor Yefremov or some of the teachers of Department were asked to replace them in the classroom, I agree with such open joy that about any financial compensation from their side, the speech was not.

In school, I led in the seventh grade math and computer science in the tenth (on-modern - in the eighth and eleventh). The school was third, but in Soviet times it was not important.

Since the seventh grade was difficult, not only because of the poor handling of children “transitional age”. As debilna was compiled school program in mathematics! For example, a lesson was devoted to the obsolete and useless tables Bradis, and another lesson is as archaic slide rule. All children were calculators, so to waste time on search of logarithms and powers of the tables and the line I did not reasonably and said something about computers. Then the headmistress (unfortunately, the very “matematika”) gave me a scandal - how can I dare to withdraw from the program?

But in computer science, where no approved programs have not yet been, I “pulled”! And tenth loved me - at this age, teenagers are already capable of evaluating professional knowledge, and I have them and led to tours on different computer center, and learned to program in the language of “basic”, and I have them even in the binary system considered.

And I wrote for VINITI (all-Union Institute of scientific and technical information) abstracts from the French language (last I learned the very least in the urban rates even in the times of the Institute). I VINITI was given a stack of photocopied articles from French magazines in Informatics and computer engineering, and I had to compress them to commit to one typewritten page. When I trained, it could one day write a dozen essays, and for each paid about three rubles.

And I went to Japanese language courses! If the Soviet regime lasted longer, I would have probably ended, the Japanese learned and was able to make translations and essays where the big money. I must say that teach Japanese oral”, that is, pronunciation and grammar, was surprisingly easy - nothing special there, but the characters... No connection to their writing with their values set at all desire it was not possible, and the process of learning Japanese writing” into a dull memorization of each character with dozens of rewriting to “the hand was used.

And I was an active Esperantist! Still admire this artificial international language, and fully understand why they old age became interested even Leo Tolstoy.

Esperanto in no case be called simplistic, for the wealth of opportunities it is not inferior to any national language. Its founder, Ludwig Zamenhof, in the eighties of the XIX century realized that it is enough to create a universal system of prefixes, suffixes, and endings, that the language was full, and while it can be an excellent learning during the year. Moreover, one could only learn the roots of the words, but they were mostly in Latin, that is familiar.

I learned Esperanto, even in times of the Institute, the year that way in 1982 (we had courses, which led Anatoly E. Goncharov, one of the leaders of the Soviet Esperanto movement). I liked it so much that I began to get up in DC “Kauchuk” (there was the Moscow Central Esperanto club), go to rallies, etc. and the year in 1986 even revived in MADI Esperanto courses and he became they teach.

Then there was a break, and in 1988, I again became actively involved in the organization of the Esperanto movement, became a member of the Board of the Moscow Association of young Esperantists and re-organized in MADI courses. Just at this time at the Institute my former friends on the Komsomol Committee was established “Center for scientific-technical creativity of youth”that is something like a cooperative, was entitled to take the contracts and pay salaries. In the end, I even got some paltry money in the form of percent from negligible fees...

However, lasted my courses are short, and very Esperanto movement in the years of sharply decreasing. The thing with that in the Soviet time it was disguised form of protest against actively fostered in the socialist countries, the Russian language as international, and in other countries - as actively fostered English. And in 1989-1991 socialist countries ceased to exist (as in socialist countries), so English is completely conquered in the world and a place for Esperanto has not left. Shame...

And I work part-time administrator in the theater. Absolutely “burnt”, located in the wild wilderness, in some DK (Palace of culture) on the back of Lublin, that is, there should have been a long ride by bus from the metro station Tekstilshiki. The theatre was named “Five evenings”, guided by the little-known older people's artist (I even forgot the name) and put boring semiclassical shows that even in the then widespread theater boom of the audience could not draw. With this “him” was the familiar friend of mine from Esperanto club, and he suggested I “try”.

I'm using my grandmother, Lydia Victorovna telephoned a lot of organizations, but the audience in Lublin was not lured. The only thing I could - is to arrange for the theater a few new year's performance “on the road”for what I received, I remember two times in forty rubles.

The funny thing is that I was offered “him” to attract audiences shocking type of erotic play or something like that (it just gradually became a “can do”), but he that is faithful to the Stanislavsky at me for this offer even offended.





Early in the spring of 1989, I went to the GDR. The Berlin wall was still in place, and the only thing that has changed with the “dead time” - a facilitated admission. But with a Soviet passport in West Berlin is still not allowed. And I walked along this nightmarish concrete wall height of two human growth, and staring at the roofs of houses “that side”, as a mysterious Paradise.

Border guards, the exclusion zone, tower and wall, the wall, the wall. On her bump everywhere: walking down the street, turned into a side street - and stop.

If I am not mistaken, the famous demolition of the wall occurred in the autumn of the same year, and a year later, in 1990, I was again in Germany. By that time managed to break only small pieces, and the feeling that I have wandered through the abandoned checkpoints and the exclusion zone, it is impossible not to compare.

And on “Glienicker brücke” - the bridge separating West Berlin from the East to the far edge where usually there have been exchanges captured spies, - not yet managed to remove threatening inscriptions such as “Forbidden zone”. I automatically stopped and did not realize that no one in my documents do not verify that there are no more walls, no two Berlin!

But with that same trip I was connected sobering from the illusions associated with the “capitalist Paradise”. No, not heaven appeared behind the wall, and its own established and very complicated life, where, as they say, we did not expect.

By the way, at this time I stopped distribute their applications to the embassies of Australia, South Africa, USA and other countries for emigration from the USSR. Of course, not because of unsweetened travel to United Germany. In Russia, I had more or less the present case and there was a certain change in the future, although in terms of everyday life, the life in the USSR was getting worse and worse.

That's when the shops began to be closed for the sale of enterprises, for “just because” there was nothing to trade. My superpredpriimchivogo friend, Sergey Pestova, there was some kind of identity “assistant Deputy, he struggled to these sales, and something they bought and then sold on the market.

Later that year that way in 1991, appeared the famous “Popovka” (on behalf of the then mayor Gavriil Popov), the “business card of the buyer” with a photo and stamp of the district Executive Committee, that nonresident couldn in Moscow to buy anything, and deliver their towns. Some time even issued coupons for sugar, tobacco and alcohol...

Poverty was fantastic. No, certainly not in comparison with the war, but in comparison with the civilized Nations - that's for sure.

To me in 1991 came the familiar from West Berlin, so they were so shocked by the Soviet way of life that all her clothes (except the one in which arrived) secretly, so that I don't offend, put in a suitcase and put it under the bed so I then found it and I was what to wear.

I thought I was pretty good salary, but finding the suitcase a few months later, I was very grateful. I personally very little has come, but I gave a friend.

But the most amusing thing was that the Germans in this suitcase still left, and money. But the failure - fifty, and for the time elapsed since their departure, the Soviet government organized the people of the last nasty - Pavlovsk confiscatory monetary reform, and this solid stack of bills turned into nothing.

But I ran forward.





Grandfather Mikhail N. Zagraevsky in the mid-eighties, as they say, “passed”. A daily bottle of dry wine, naturally, could not save from diabetes, and he began “coma”. Necrotized leg, and in 1986 was amputated above the knee.

My grandfather became a cripple. To walk on crutches, he could not - he was eighty years old, and the forces on it was not. Remained a wheelchair.

But the Soviet chairs were huge and move them around the apartment, there was no way. And down the street to ride on them was unreal is on the West, and special ramps from sidewalks and driveways on the stairs, and in Russia and now with this difficulty.

And there was Mikhail Naumovich reluctant to move somewhere. Him some master has small wheels welded to the legs of iron chair, he went on it slowly through the apartment, and all.

In the summer we lived, as before, in the country. Mikhail N. sat in his favorite spot on the terrace and listened to the radio.

No senile sclerosis he has not felt, but it is somewhat phlegmatic character came to complete inertia. However, the latter gave him the ability to calmly endure everything. Even his father was surprised how fast Mikhail N. endured and disease, and disability. No complaints, no nervous breakdown, even when my grandmother came to visit him in the hospital the day after the amputation of his leg.

The most amazing thing that step, as I now understand, could not be amputated. Started after surgery, intensive insulin therapy quickly brought my grandfather diabetes to slow and almost imperceptible form, would wait to amputation - and it would not have it.

But this situation is, unfortunately, typical of free medicine: at the first opportunity to send a man to the operation. And the therapist takes responsibility, and the surgeon is provided with work, and none of them never meet - wonderful!

Fair to say that medicine has paid another trend: the patient not to concede and heal within its competence, but as far as possible a long time and most expensive drugs.

But medicine was still free (bottles and candy doctors do not count), Mikhail Naumovich leg amputated, and in our family again began standard set of responsibilities for the care of sick, almost motionless man. Lydia V. learned to make insulin injections and she made them my grandfather.

However, gaffer disease has helped me a lot, at a very paradoxical about it.





The fact that in 1986 I got married and went to live in his wife's family - where the living conditions of a permit, unlike mine.

Poor young people! The lack of financial, housing and, most importantly, psychological independence creates among many others want this to one degree or another to use. In the end, is downright Darwinian natural selection.

In this case, the family of his wife openly believed that because they have to feed me, I'm for it should work for them, not in the long run, but immediately. And since the money I earned little, then the work is expressed in the fact that I went to the shops, standing in queues, continuously dragged some things and was always reproaches for...

What's there to tell when the situation is right on Joseph Brodsky:


I am distrustful of others.

Offend the kitchen the stomach over.

Worst of all, annoying personal

Look at the role of human life.

They consider me to be a bandit,

Taunted my appetite.

I don't use their credit.

- Pour it thinner!


Absurdity. I have sinned and chrevougodliv, but prefer to eat cheese without bread. I was once seen doing this for my grandmother and wife accused that I do not earn so much (!), so that there is cheese. Then at me about this and complained to my mother...

About the “system of values” in this family says that my wife often with a sigh: “Ah, if you could be a millionaire”... seriously.

And because the parents were not the wife that the workers or peasants. Test - Professor, mother-in-law is an editor at a major publishing house. And they are good people, and my wife and I had wonderful relations, and the son grew up...

But the aggressive love of money is a terrible thing, not necessarily leading to the presence thereof, but displacing all other values. The test is in no case did not apply, but to a large “female” part of his family - in full.

About my stay in this house says that almost every evening we came to visit the sweetest couple (my friend is married to a friend of my wife), and the four of us were drinking wine (or dry wine) and played cards...

I have had times when it was about life and death. Maybe I dramatize, but in the spiritual plane and a half years of my life is quite possible for them to consider. The question was, “prolong” twenty-two guy or not.

And here I was, oddly enough, had saved... disabled grandfather. Courtship him created for me the objective necessity of being with her parents ' house. And the further, the more I wanted to go there - I knew that I was there waiting and truly love.

My frequent absence angered the family of his wife and forced them to harsh statements about my personality. And of course, I can build the ropes, but to some extent and only love and affection, otherwise I end communication is very fast. The same thing happened here - after another similar incident on 6 September 1987 (as I remember the date), I slammed the door and went away, returned home. A couple of years we have officially divorced, and more since I have never been married.

My mother was very worried that I left the family and of the son, that is her grandson. However, specific attempts by his upbringing, she had not taken either then or since - it always had their own Affairs and problems. Father, too, was not the details of my personal life.

And Lydia V. and Mikhail N. was so happy that I returned home, he immediately “disconnect” from great grandson. Apparently, they understood that grow it will not have time, and darling grandson (i.e. me) some other people will be exploited and, God forbid, interfere to protect the coveted thesis and make a scientific career.

Thanks to them - in this difficult time, they helped me much. Moreover, it was then that I, with Lydia has developed a mutual understanding, which even in childhood dream was not necessary.





Mikhail N. Zagraevsky died on January 3, 1988, and not from diabetes and pneumonia. However, if the octogenarian man is sitting, lying life, he inevitably formed in the lungs of stagnation, will sooner or later lead to inflammation. And another way of life with father could not - he had an amputated leg.

It injections of penicillin and pneumonia almost healed, but the sudden evening heart.

And the next day we with Lydia went to buy food for the memorial. Vodka sold us on the death certificate (just buy it was almost impossible), and “snack” - we came to this or that line, showing the evidence, and we usually missed.

From co-workers at his grandfather's funeral was only one person with whom they retired together engaged in examination of projects. Of the relatives of Mikhail Naumovich was no one, and left some of their sister in Yalta Yes nephew in Pyatigorsk...

But were all the numerous relatives Lydia Victorovna, and Wake, as usual, by the end of developed into a tipsy fun. Russia...

Generally speaking, the winter 1987-88 years I will remember for a long time. In the late autumn in the hospital with “microinfarctions” month lay Lydia V., January 3, died Mikhail N. Zagraevsky, and February 13 - Wolfgang Alfredovich Kavelmaher.

Last, if I may say so, “lucky” - he almost was not ill and died quietly, from the “normal” heart attack. He was 87 years, the last years he was retired, and before that someone just does not work - and geologist, and a conductor on the train, and even a Minister in the zoo From him... I have a yellow bear, which he gave me in 1965 birthday. Big Teddy bear from childhood, probably, almost everyone, so here's my - from Wolfgang Alfredovich.

All my family stormy scenes (as I have already mentioned, the fall of 1987 I parted with his wife) faded before this continuous string of illnesses and deaths.





In parallel, quietly, dying Soviet regime.

Of course, we cannot say that it was too inconspicuously. Life was up, that way year in 1987 started “cooperative” movement, on the Riga market, and then and at all intersections appeared traders every little thing - the very decorations life, which under Soviet power was not at all. And may these little things were pathetic by today's standards, artisanal and short-lived, but it was already something. Suddenly it turned out that cap that says “Adidas” or t-shirts with spectacular (albeit weak) patterns are found not only in the capitalist West and readily available.

It is strange that in the Soviet time could not establish the production of such nonsense, although it is much easier, than to develop any remote control nuclear submarine.

It seems, that in the Stalin-Brezhnev times to the life of Soviet people treated the same as ballistic missiles and other military equipment. And there, as you know, dominated by a principle: whatever you can do is harmful, for it reduces the reliability of the system.

But, for example, auto - without them it was hard, but what prevents them to produce in sufficient quantities? Of course, you can say that the distribution system of socialism could not be considered as brake pads should be released in order to saturate the market. But after all, were the worst cases - in the early to mid eighties all the Newspapers wrote about the lack of camshafts for “Lada”, but they are still not there.

For non-specialists will explain: the camshaft “Zhiguli” of the distribution system of socialism has nothing, is over-cylinder engine and equipped with ledges (“Cams”), which pushes the valve fuel injection fuel mixture and exhaust... How hard it was to the familiar language to describe this not the most complicated technical details. In short, this shaft rotates in time with the engine, and “jaws”, which pushes the valve periodically wear out.

I am sure that officer, which was dependent release camshafts, knew that when gostsene 25 rubles to buy a night on the Moscow ring road (there were “underground” markets) for two hundred and fifty. But... Either it was anyway, or he was financially interested in the deficit was “a fraction” of speculators.

Soon, however, the first - too much fuss was about it, but the noise partbase not liked and immediately received “leftists” income, if only everything was covered over.

The funny thing is that in the late eighties it turned out that these wretched camshafts just did not alloy, and when they do, their share increased from 20 thousand kilometers to 100 thousand, and the problem has disappeared even without increasing production volume.

Resource tanks and armored personnel carriers considered a “Lada” - no. It is typical for the Soviet military dictatorship.

And then it all went quiet crawl “on an inclined plane”.

A typical business in 1988: my friend mark Dmitriev earned money on Terry ribbons to tie the hair. The technology of their manufacture was the following: to buy unnecessary synthetic Terry socks production GDR, cut into strips, inserted in them, sorry, elastic bands for underwear, and then a few stitches all of this race. A pair of socks cost ruble twenty of them came out six or seven rezinochek that mark himself and sold - on the ruble.

The most curious thing is that the grandmother, Lydia V. very fast “was entered in the new economic conditions and, in particular, a large number of sewing this rubbers. 20 cents each - and the day ran up a decent amount, only a limited amount of orders coming from Mark.

And my grandmother was my “Secretary on the phone and helped me with cool, especially when I “moonlighting” administrator in the theater and had to ring up a lot of organizations for selling tickets.

Generally speaking, life has taught the people of this generation great flexibility and adaptability. Even when the beloved grandson nights “bomb” on the old “Moskvich”, Lydia V. belonged to that is absolutely calm: you've got to live...

Yes, and all that is happening in the country was perceived by her and her peers quite adequately - not such a life had to endure.

Sixty (generation of father and mother), oddly enough, is worse psychologically adapted to the “market economy”than eighty years. Latest something Stalin era have experienced in full and had little reason to miss him. But for those whose youth fell on the forties and fifties, there was a sort of nostalgia for Soviet life.

Naturally, neither the father nor the mother of such nostalgia never hurt and the collapse of Soviet power saw with joy. But when I see them sixty-seventy years of age on pokomunistyczna demonstrations with portraits of Stalin and the red flags, I would like to ask these people to consult with the previous generation of whether waving a portrait of a bloody dictator, indirectly, the culprit in most of the current problems of Russia?

However, this is unrealistic. The generation of my grandparents had almost no one alive, and the memoirs of the Lord with red flags are not trained to read.


Chapter 8. Euphoria of epochs changing


© Sergey Zagraevsky


Chapter 1. “Soviet burgers”

Chapter 2. Vorkuta

Chapter 3. Sixties

Chapter 4: “Stagnation”

Chapter 5. Psychoanalysis

Chapter 6. Lenin, Party, Komsomol

Chapter 7. “Scientific career”

Chapter 8. Euphoria of epochs changing

Chapter 9. Arkady

Chapter 10. Commerce

Chapter 11. The loss of the bank

Chapter 12. Christianity



To the page “Memoirs”

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